And just for thought...
I should have been thrilled.
The man laid with me.
It is what, I thought, what I wanted.
Now as I lay here in this bed alone, I begin to doubt this.
He did everything right and I made it so perfect,
sitting on the couch in a candle lit room.
Slowly we went up the stairs to the dark bed
and it was wonderful to be held by him
but I only feel empty now.
I thought he could fill up this hole I constantly carry
but maybe this abyss will forever remain.
It will never matter how many men I welcome into this bed.
None of them will ever be enough.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.