And just for thought...
just something to let you know what goes on inside.
I often switch with no real reason,
smiling one second and scowling the next,
telling you spiteful things just because I can
because, in my head, I need to prove something.
I am not as nice as I play
or as stupid as you think.
I grow angry and annoyed very easily.
So when I do not agree with your logic, excuse me if I snap.
I grow tired of listening to ridiculous stories.
I may want to help you but boredom and impatience lure me elsewhere.
I put on nice for you because that's what you want
because it would be unacceptable if I were to lash out.
Aren't I supposed to be the kind one?
The one you can place all your inadequacies on.
I am tired of bearing the blame.
I am tired of trying only to be shut down.
An explanation, of course.
I am a horrible person if that's what you want.
A mean, hardhearted woman who could care less
because my life has made me just that.
You expect too much out of a simple girl like me
and I know, at the end of the day, you like me being a doormat.
I can not fix your life or mine.
I grow tired of hearing you.
It would be better if you found another punching bag,
better if you found someone else to clean up your messes,
better if you picked a new babysitter.
I am perfectly fine putting myself down.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.