And just for thought...
I have carried this heavy heart through my life.
Felt it bleed for those who did not deserve it.
Watched it shatter over wrongs I could not control.
I have caught it's tears on kitchen floors
And felt defeated every time I was unable to protect it.
When I feel, I feel every corner of this life
Even the sharp edges I ran from
Because emotions come like hurricanes.
Sometimes I do not know how to clear the debris.
I have boarded up my walls in an effort to hide,
In order to hide from kind intentions, harsh judgements just the same
Because when I feel, this heart feels it all.
He looks at me like no one else and I feel it.
I feel his love like I have never felt love before
And this heavy heart that carries the world in its veins
Swells with emotions I cannot explain.
I hold on tight, tucking it safely within,
As we struggle to find our feet together
Through these dark waters we swim in,
Against these winds that push us back,
Knowing this heart of mine is in safe hands this time.
He stood on the porch, apologizing for feeling down
But no apologies were needed.
I have felt drowning before, suffocated by worry,
With a heavy heart to carry.
I again find myself where I always land.
Wind against my cheeks on an October day
With too many worries, cracks forming on this heart
Sitting at a coffee shop alone with these words
But I feel these beats of my heavy heart
And accept whatever heartbreak may come next,
Understanding my patch worked spirit will rise again.
He smiles at though I know what lies behind.
I tell him we will be all right, holding his heart right next to mine,
Ready to sacrifice my own to take the wieght off his
Because mine is used to the heavy load
Because mine knows how to break.
Mine knows how to put itself back together.
I feel too much in this world,
Feel too much of me, you, him.
And I just want to run away from feeling at all
But this tender heart keeps me put.
I have fallen apart on bathroom floors,
Fallen to my knees on the side of the road.
Felt my heart break in so many different ways
Because this life of mine has been cruel.
Then he laughs and I remember
And I find myself sitting in a corner with a smile,
Remembering that despite the heavy heart life has given me, I still stand tall.
Within these tears that have fallen from swollen eyes,
My heart only grew stronger,
Making room for the only emotion that matters.
A lifetime of love, my life full of love,
Broken and lost, found and held,
Bursting from the seams of this heavy heart.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.