Sometimes it feels unbearable in this skin,
Feeling every smile, every frown, every wink.
And sometimes my heart explodes in overreactions.
You cry and tears roll even if I don't know you
Because my soul is too often touched by the air you breathe..
I wish I could turn you off, all of you off.
I wish I could laugh it off all these slams that come,
Walk it off when I see the horror in the world around me.
Instead I feel this rage that's not even mine build
But do I ever throw these fists?
No, I fester and think and plot and do nothing at all.
I feel too much about things, people who will never truly feel anything back.
I hide behind a silly comment, a clever pun.
If I said to you, everything you say stabs,
You would just deem me a fool
But I wish you could understand, all of you, maybe just one of you.
Everything you say or do is held inside me,
Catologued and Duey Decimaled and never forgotten
Because I will admit only once my hurt.
The rest will be archived, reviewed at inappropriate times.
But as good as I am at putting you away, pushing you away,
I still feel to much of you, of any of you, of all of you
And I just wish I could turn all of this off sometimes.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.