I sat at the counter with the world going on around me
But I didn't really notice the man coughing
Or the woman tapping too loudly on her computer.
I got lost in memories of jumping out of cars.
I was distracted by moments that have been gone for some time now and it was all right.
I realize that not all that much has changed since then,
not really because I still prefer to sit by myself.
I have the best intentions to be the best adult.
I am going to get things done, going to check off all these things I list for myself and I have checked quite a few
but I know that I prefer the quiet.
I have the greatest determination.
I will conquer my demons.
I will stand on the highest mountain,
Proclaiming that I can do anything and I will
but the introvert in me pulls on my sleeve like a child.
I need peace, calm, to be my only company sometimes.
I like to listen to folk music and dream, just dream.
In my life those have been the things that have grounded me but sometimes the man coughing distracts me.
I find myself getting too involved with tapping too loudly.
I get distracted by noises that don't really matter
even though I have the best intentions to heal the world around me, to be the hero that someone needs.
My father once told me that I was too stubborn for my own good, that I my will could outlast a beast.
It makes me laugh now sitting here at this counter,
knowing that he was right even when I stomped my feet.
I do not give in and I won't give up
but these days I walk away because I can,
because not all battles need to be fought
and sometimes we all need to lose.
I sat in that chair and smiled at the world around me,
remembering and forgetting and letting go...
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.