It comes and it goes, these beautiful waves of life
Where you don't know if you are sinking or swimming
Watching the world around you change, fixate,
And then change again
You watch the people who once sat at your table get up
one by one
Realizing not every exit hurts as much as you thought
Because what is life if it not a constant change of scenery?
I loved you and once loved that love is always there
Even if I watch you walk away
Even if I leave you behind
I smile at the smiles I see on the faces
And my heart swells knowing that I once touched your life
Though my presence now seems fleeting
Almost like I was never there at all
But the marks we leave on each other stay
Flashing like memories
Float back like dreams
Dancing behind eyelids
Lightning bugs on a warm summer night
There are tables we all come back to
Where the people that stick will always be waiting for you
And how lovely it is to see the faces that stay
Because what is this life without the bricks we build?
You, my friend, will be more than a ghost to me, more than a memory that flashes
Sometimes when we leave, we are forgotten
A thought that once scared me
But I know eventually we all will be
And for now I can take solace that I am here,
I am here in this moment with you as something real,
as someone real
Because what good is life if we do not live each moment?
Walls surround, filled with people and sounds,
Bouncing off each other like a symphony.
In those walls, I sat, absorbing the vibrations,
Thinking that it was the walls that were important
But the walls started to crack over time,
Aging and swelling and growing and crumbling,
Leaving holes in the foundation of what it once was,
Realizing sometimes we don't go back to what we were, changing into something new instead.
Among those cracks, I sat and watched,
I watched the people go
And heard their sounds quiet,
Taking notes as I saw wings sprout around me.
I remained among the debris of what those walls once were.
But I saw the light peak through and shine in my eye, whispering for me to try,
To try to catch that light for myself
And I started to understand it was never about the walls.
I sat and I looked beyond the brick.
I closed my eyes and remembered the sounds of our laughter, the feel of our rage,
And how it felt to sit with you after a long day.
And as I walk away from the bricks I laid down there, I know I can walk away with you still with me
Because what I found there was a beautiful strength, one I had forgotten I had.
The wood will continue to rot.
The bricks will continue to crumble.
The glasses will continue to shatter
But the people will continue to grow
And for all my hours, for all those years spent
Telling myself it was the place I love,
What I finally realize is that it was just four walls.
What mattered was what bloomed inside.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.