The words float and I do my best to catch
But often they fly away
When I sit down to write them.
There is so much I would love to say
And too much I can't let go
But the way the world looks at me sometimes
Makes me wonder how much it would hear?
I hear the buzzing but you don't
And it used to make me angry.
I have stopped caring that much lately
Because what difference does it make?
I have to live in this skin.
You don't and it's not your fault
But it's getting easier I guess
To know the difference between you and me
And to accept the space between us.
I drove down that old street today,
The one that a younger version of me would walk,
Remembering how dirty it once felt.
It used to make me sad but I shrugged at it.
And thought even places had to change.
This now streamlined street was not the street of my youth
But I'm not the girl of my youth either.
Everything is older now and I guess that's OK.
All these words that I've written,
Bookmarks along this journey,
Reminders of all the roads I've traveled,
They all float away now
But I guess I'm not incredibly interested in caging them.
We all need freedom to just be.
I am just versions of who I used to be
And it's OK to let all of these versions just be
Without having to squash them in a photograph album.
I struggled with being seen for so long
But I'm a ghost and I'm not angry anymore.
Whatever I am right now can just be
There is a comfort in this stillness.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.