Too much of the world we miss, wrapped up in whatever drama that happens around us.
We often let what really matters fall to the wayside.
Sparks are much more interesting to watch, it's true.
We occupy this world, claiming that love is the most important while we cling so heavily to hate.
There is beauty in everyone, in everything, but so much of it goes unseen.
A kind word is forgotten but a harsh one always leaves a mark.
We forget when a door is held open for us to say thank you,
When a kind woman smiles at you to smile back.
We remember the door that slams in our face, the scowl from an impatient person behind you in line.
We drench ourselves in the latest gossip, forgetting there is a person somewhere in those twisted words.
Too much of the world is wrapped up in the wrong things.
She looked over her cubicle and smiled with her new haircut, making me laugh.
Soon she will move onto the next stage of her life.
Then, there's me.
I'll look over at that cubicle after she's gone, remembering Wilson Philips,
smiling because I know she will be happy.
I, too, will start my own adventure soon.
These intervals of life, seasons of change, all have a rhyme and a reason.
All of them gave me something, something moire than I could do for myself.
It was her confidence and her laughter and her strength that taught me who I was.
I wonder, looking across the cubicle, if there is a piece of me that will go with her.
I know such things won't be shared.
All of our lives will take off, all destined for great things.
Perhaps one day she will come across a Tiger Beat or she'll meet Clay Aiken or she'll see an Axl poster
and they'll think of me as much as I think of them.
Lighting his cigarette, he covered his coffee as the workers in front of us put things together.
He explained to her the ways of the world as I wrote down that moment of our life.
There was something about him that I was never able to move past.
Looking at the two of them sitting side by side, I know why I couldn't let go even if it was for the best.
He made her so happy once in so many ways.
There were moments when they giggled together that touched my heart.
There were moments before he decided he didn't love her enough when he did,
Moments that gave me hope that he wasn't the failure I always knew he was.
Lighting my cigarette, I think about those moments and think about now.
I see the way the man who does not share her blood looks at her.
There is something about him that I will never let go of.
In a word or two, I am not clay for you to mold.
I am a proof of life lived, of experiences that gave me what was most important.
Many know nothing of my roads traveled and that's the way I intend it to be.
They throw judgment just the same around like their slate is absolutely clean.
I have seen love, felt loss.
I have held incredible pain but was given laughter and joy just the same.
I am not willing to reform myself because ignorance points its fingers in my direction.
I am full of smiles, full of wonderful, full of oddities.
I would not sell my soul because someone finds me distracting.
We all have choices in this world, reactions to circumstances we can't always control.
It is those reactions that define us.
I will not put my tail between my legs because someone didn't get my joke.
In a word or two, I am of no one's making but my own.
I see the way you treat my family but stick your judgement back into your sockets.
You say you support my decisions but you have no intentions of accepting them,
accepting her or that part of her that he gave her.
Love is unconditional, not depending on.
You loved me when I had good grades, when I followed your rules
but it stopped the minute I walked away from your path.
Shouldn't you be proud of the way I am still standing?
The way I keep pushing forward instead of giving up?
You would have rathered me not have my child than have to inconvenience you with a bastard grandchild.
I made a choice, a choice you would have never made.
You play polite by ignoring my life for what it is, by disregarding my unconventional wonderful,
all so you can stay prostate to your god.
Your god is not judging me.
Fall air rushes around me.
I should've worn a sweater, more than a rag on my head but whatever.
We sit together, both lost in words; him in his book and I in my hand.
I watch the people come and go but they are just extras.
Two women laugh on a bench not too far away, somehow inspiring me.
They've torn down the old wood, replacing the broken with a more appealing facade.
I, too, have changed, replacing my old for something new.
The wind blows, reminding me that summer has had its last hooray.
I should've worn pants instead of Capri.
I saw you sitting here. Thought I'd say hello.
Are you busy?
Stopping by. Can I join you?
Why do you come here?
I'm addicted to coffee and strangers asking me silly questions.
Do you always bring your book?
Never leave home without it.
What do you write?
Whatever inspires me in the moment. It could be about you next.
What are you looking for?
Randomly serious question. What do you mean?
Your eyes, when you talk, you seem hungry.
Do you study my eyes often?
You intrigue me.
Why is that?
There seems to be another world about you.
There's something about everyone. I am not special, sir.
So this is more then just a hello then?
Flowing down the pavement, the water stops at my feet.
I am dressed to kill today but I have no one to impress.
All in all, it's been a good day.
I'm floating, not really here, but I have no expectations.
Winter will come soon, hibernation will ensue.
I'm calmer in the cold.
I want to do something fantastic today but mediocrity doesn't leave much room for that.
This poem is melancholy, uncharacteristically down for what I generally am.
We exchange stories about our youth.
Secrets revealed, alliances stripped away once we walked out of those hallways.
I find it humorous the 'lifetime' friends are nowhere to be found.
It is the ones that I swore revenge on that line my table now.
Interesting when I look back, realizing our place then make no difference now.
Amusing to come to the conclusion that my most valuable lessons were learned in parking lots.
I can't say I regret anything, not even my choice of confidantes,
though I can say that I should have had more fun while I had the chance.
Destiny leading me right,
There are small miracles every day even if they are not obvious to open eyes.
Faced with adult decisions and lost in child like fancies,
I manage to land somewhere in the middle.
Cry for me world!
I will wipe your tears even if mine go untouched.
I won't let those lonely nights make me bitter.
Useless energy for a solvable problem, fate's knock will come.
Am I ready?
Can I open up my life so unconditionally?
Not yet, not completely.
Destiny may be staring me in the face but I don't recognize this man yet.
Soon enough, I will.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.