And just for thought...
I love like my father.
I protect like my mother.
He showed me an open heart
And she taught me how to protect it.
As a child I would get lost between the two
Not knowing how much of me to give,
Regretting when I gave too much,
Scolding when I did not give enough,
Never really finding a balance between the two.
He smiled at me freely
While she chose carefully when to embrace,
Confused by which way I should love.
As I grew, as I hurt, as I pained, as I learned joy
I found myself landing somewhere between
Wanting to love freely in the way he smiled
But not wanting to lose my poise like her.
I wish I could have allowed my heart to open
Without having it had it crushed so many times
Just as much as I wish I could have flowed
When I shut it inside so tightly.
He was kind and honest and ready to break
And she was strong and solid and ready to fight.
Somewhere in the middle I landed
Willing to love, willing to give, willing to embrace
Yet always terrified to truly be that vulnerable
But I find the balance in these words
In these lines I find my place.
This safe place where I can love freely like him
And own exactly who I am like her,
Knowing exactly that the words I pour out of this heart
Come from the most vulnerable parts of me.
I feel him every time my heart skips a beat
And I hear her every time I take a deep breath,
Their lessons somewhere in between the sighs
In this path that life has taken me.
I don't know if his way of loving was better
Or if hers gave me that much more strength.
I do know that love was always given.
I love like him
I protect like her
And somewhere in the middle I have landed
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.