And just for thought...
Skinny legs and blonde hair, I was nothing but muscle.
I stare back at me from the pictures.
I wonder why I thought I was all wrong,
So insecure about everything but still I knew it all, didn’t I?
I would have jumped into a bull pen to prove the smallest of my points.
Thin faced and tiny wrists, I was nothing but fight.
I smile back at me from that picture.
I was so scared back then but my bark was viscous, wasn’t it?
I ran and ran and built fortresses around me
Because I refused to be anyone’s joke
But I ended up building a mote that I never could crawl out of, not for a long time.
Perky chest and that flat stomach, I was nothing but skin and bones.
That body that I never thought was good enough mocks me from that picture.
If I had known how beautiful I really was back then, I would have had a lot more confidence
But I thought my boney knees were fat, my thighs disgusting,
Because that’s what I thought I was supposed to think.
Bright eyes and an innocent smile, I was nothing but hope.
I shine brightly from the picture.
I see now what was always there, the girl before she broke, the girl before I bloomed.
If I had known the woman sitting here now then, I wouldn’t have been so frightened
But the thought of the future terrified me too much
Because I didn’t know how beautiful growing up really was until it was over.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.