And just for thought...
It is a cycle with me,
throw myself into one thing,
leaving the rest of my life to fend for itself.
Wouldn't it be great if he actually worked?
Wouldn't it be better if I was enough?
I toss myself into the same dilemma each time.
So he rejected me just like so many others,
all preferring my convenient rolls in the hay over something real,
causing me to doubt if I will ever be worth someone's more.
So I was passed up for an opportunity because of inexperience,
saying my age would never get me anywhere,
forcing me to believe I will never go higher.
I often ask myself why.
Why go for yet another man?
Won't he be like all the others?
Why work harder for the impossible?
Won't I always just be the girl that failed?
I always know the answer.
He will never want me.
I will always be sitting right here, hiding behind words.
Then again I always stand right back up even if I don't go anywhere.
I guess I'm not such a bad thing.
Maybe one day I'll succeed.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.