Hesitant Happiness

Have I given up?
Let my hope die?
No, but I have resigned to the fact that the amazing I search for may not happen.
It's not so bad, right?
I have had love.
I've felt a broken heart.
I know what joy feels like.
Shouldn't that be enough that I've felt amazing?
Sometimes I just don't know if I am able to hold onto it.
It is not the fear of losing it that makes me hesitate?
It is more complicated then that, it has to be.
To love me, a man must accept every intricate part of who I am
but most I have no interest in offering that to them.
Have I agreed to settle?
Have I no more faith?
No, being alone is just easier.
By all means, I haven't had that many opportunities
and, in all honesty, maybe no other preference.