And just for thought...
I reach for the bottle more often.
It is easier to be mentally dysfuntional these days.
Sobriety is overrated.
I'd rather just be drunk.
Perhaps, I can find a happy medium.
A happy place where I know what's happening but can't feel anything.
Isn't living in a numb world better than constantly twisting in pain?
They tell me I drink too much but why do they care?
They don't know my reality.
Maybe I'll just drink myself into oblivion, see what happens.
It doesn't scare me, the thought of what I would become.
Then, I could blame my life on something tangible,
something people would believe, something people could see.
They tell me I'm just using it runaway.
They only see what is on the outside.
I got a job, a "promising" future but it's all just bullshit.
I would rather be lost in some imaginary place that my delusional mind has created.
It doesn't matter how I get there.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.