And just for thought...
Joni Mitchell sings over Christmas music as I sit in this random corner of my world.
The day has been long but on my feet I remain.
She told to watch my health but though my feet hurt and my back aches this is the healthiest I have been for years.
I don't carry around the infections I once did and on my feet I will remain.
I got a case of the gingerbread man and I guess I will keep going regardless if my heart explodes.
Every now and then I need these corners to reasses, to reflect, to replenish
because there will always be a world on my shoulders, always a life to love.
She told me she was proud of the woman I have become, the way I carry myself now
and in a way it was because of her.
My mind gets muddled, tired, frustrated
but this is the happiest I have ever been.
I have a picture of him that I carry with me now,
this father of mine that is gone now
but it's the closest I've felt to him since I was little.
He is smiling and I am giggling and it's the way I must remember him, the way I always loved him.
Joni Mitchell plays on top of Christmas music
and all I can really think about is right now.
She told me that I remind her so much of him,
that she can see the best of him in me,
and it's the saddest feeling I've had in a long time.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.