And just for thought...
It was best you never returned my call.
You know me no further than the sheets.
I called because I needed someone to hold me, nothing else,
because I could feel the shakes in my otherwise invincible frame.
The phone sat silent as I found my way home,
wrapping my arms around myself as I finally let the tears that threatened flow.
You would have thought me weak but, every now and then, I cannot fight this loneliness.
You apologized the next morning but my pride had returned,
blowing you off like it was nothing to fret about.
In reality I wanted to crumble and cry in your arms.
I wish you could have been the one to make me face the inadequacies I rage against
but that wasn't why I dialed your number.
You have never asked anything of me nor do you really want anything from me.
You plainly never wanted anything more than an occasional good time
and I find that comforting in a non threatening way.
All I wanted was for someone to just shut up and hold me without expecting confessions.
I wanted to be just a normal girl for a few hours, to stop pretending I'm made out of stone.
I just thought it could have been you, simple you.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.