And just for thought...
I admit there are times I prefer the world to be fuzzy.
Not to stay blind to what goes on around me
But to remain safely inside my own cocoon.
I prefer to frolic in my own nonsense
Because my chaos always makes sense
Even when it doesn't, even when it shouldn't.
I helped a woman clean up her spilled coffee this morning,
Slipping on her shoes for a moment
Realizing I feel like that liquid far too often
But I try every day to make myself a little bit better
Even when it costs me too much, even when it hurts a little
Because I know that I judge myself far more harshly.
There are times I don't want to look outside myself,
To sit with you and understand your plight.
I prefer to stay in my own corner.
I prefer to hide behind words, within metaphors,
Among the impossibles and the maybes
Because here everything I am is possible
And not just a theory I've imagined
That depends on too many things that fall apart too easily,
That always fall off balance when I blink.
I know that this is a fickle life I lead.
The hurdles jumped just inspire mountains to climb.
Every day I rise, knowing how real this struggle is
And accepting that these are the shoes I wear,
Finding solace that I am not alone,
Finding peace that each step makes this spirit stronger
Because there was a time when it was a shy spark.
I own my sins when I fall to sleep, celebrate my failures,
And know that tomorrow I will again try to do better
Even when tears fall, even when my heart aches.
I prefer to find a warm spot in this fuzzy life,
A comfortable nook that I can observe the world
Rather than constantly being a part of it
Because I have moments
When my surroundings are too much
And I would prefer to be a silent part of this play
But not because I fear, because I do not.
A smile is what I offer even if I don't see yours.
A hand is what I can give
Even if I never accept yours in return, even if I see it
Because I prefer to be in the background
Not just of your landscape
But of mine as well.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.