Limbo

I can not remember the last time.
My memory often fails me.
What else is new?
Living quite nicely in a world that continues to wear me down,
pretending as I usually do to be something I am not.
Nothing new.
Here I sit in my nice new walls,
writing random circles around what I really feel,
listening to music I have yet to feel,
knowing in five hours I must rise to another superficial sun.
I attempted to remember being a stupid, impulsive kid
but I failed to recall anything substantial, the beauty of youth.
I know what I want but life refuses to go backwards.
Wasn't it fun to be sixteen and know absolutely nothing?
It all went to waste.
Why was I in such a hurry?
Being twenty carries more than it should.
Here I go, stepping up that corporate ladder to a more responsible me
but am I happy?
I am still trying to remember who I am,
trying to figure who I want to be.
What else is new?