Love's Plight

​I wish I could stay at my table for one sometimes,
Wandering about in the one place that has always offered me solace,
Where rainbows still shine bright, letting me fly,
But too often I am forced into bull races with ignorance.
I give the world a smile and it offers me a frown in return.
I have been lucky in love this year,
Finding a home within a kind heart that protects me from what he can
And I would do anything to never leave his warmth,
To sway in his strength, to lie beside him forever
But too often I puff up against threats that only exist in my head,
Fists in the air only to be knocked down by my own ghosts.
I wish I could be the person I know am without the broken parts,
Broken by all those things I let hurt me so easily,
Where I could offer my heart to you without being shattered when you walk away
Because too often my kindness only inspires fear, in me and in you and in them.
Too often my compassion gets the best of me
And I am left with the aftermath of their cruelty.
Tomorrow I shall be a day older sitting at my table for one,
Strolling back through my memories, taking stock in moments gone,
Analyzing the path traveled, the paths forgotten,
Realizing I know as little as ever, more than I ever knew.
Little girl dreams not yet true but one day they will be
Because I will continue to stand up, to hold my fists high,
To believe in the same love that I cursed.
Table for one, alone or with you or with them, this seat is never taken.

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