And just for thought...
Moments of weakness, I get them all the time but it is no matter.
My skin is as human as everyone else's even if it feels too tough sometimes.
I cry just the same, knowing the tears don't solve anything and it's just a release.
Aloof, it is only my nature on the surface.
I can show you a million other sides of me.
Can't we all though?
Aren't we all more than we seem?
I told him last night that I let people believe what they want of me.
In the end, we see what we want anyway.
I said that there were too many things people didn't want to see
including him but he still didn't get it and I still didn't care that much.
Every way I am beyond what I have but I play it off that this is all I have.
What does it matter anyway?
I have plenty of desperate times when I feel like tearing out of this body,
where I long for someone to grab hold and keep me from burning alive
but they pass, they return, and somehow I find control.
I have times when I wish I could sit with someone open the gates to my sadness, to the loneliness I keep too close to my heart,
and have them say nothing to try to bring me up, to just let me cry.
I won't ever admit that to anyone though, he always knew that.
I told him my life was different than his own.
In some ways I am far better off then him because I have a little girl who loves me.
He still didn't get it and I didn't care much.
Moments of weakness, I have them all the time but who cares?
This body is as human as everyone else's.
I want to make love far too often without the emotional attachment
but it never solves anything, just a release.
I told him last night that I needed him to leave...
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.