And just for thought...
There were so many things that I should have said,
so many things I should have done but time didn't give me the chance.
I was washing the dishes the other day, washing his bowl,
and I could not stop the tears that started to fall.
I wanted to look around that corner and see him sleeping in his chair
but his seat will always be empty now.
All I have is random memories to hold onto,
small memories of him singing John Denver when it was time to get up,
small flashes of him dancing to the Beatles.
He's ruined those songs for me now
because every time I hear them all I see is him, all I feel is his loss.
When I look in the mirror, it's his face that stares back at me.
I have always resembled him, from his face to his big heart.
I know he held a special place for me.
I know all I ever wanted was for him to be proud of me
but he could never see beyond the potential I never lived up to.
The brilliance that he once told me I had I know never shined bright enough.
Months after his passing, I am left to write this poem about him
while I listen to Carole King, wondering if he will still love me tomorrow though he is gone.
All I want is for him to know that he after all was said and done
he was enough for me.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.