And just for thought...
I suppose it was to believe we could be friends, anything at all really.
At every opportunity you run even if it;s just to the other side of the room,
leaving me in a one sided conversation.
Then you make it a point to stop by but maybe it's just me who acts strangely.
I have never been known to behave normally.
I called you the other night, talked to your voicemail as usual, knowing you wouldn't reply.
I needed a friend, just someone to sit with.
I didn't want to hang out, to make love, to absolve my sins.
I just didn't want to be alone.
Like I am to most, I am at your convenience,
someone to speak with in public and to fuck behind closed doors.
I don't know what it is that keeps me trying with you, anyone really.
Either I am laughed at for my dreams or ridiculed for my accomplishments, I get it.
Trivial, I suppose, because I won't look twice at you once I've moved on, whenever that is.
You will sigh to yourself, asking why you never gave me a chance.
You always assumed I was after your soul or at least a finger
but when all I ever really wanted was to be your friend.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.