And just for thought...
I break my own heart over and over again
But I’m never surprised.
Sometimes I feel like I enjoy the jagged edges,
the pieces of my heart like Lego shrapnel
That I just continuously walk on
Just to remind myself I am alive.
Sometimes you don’t get it,
The sadness that I bathe in when no one is looking
But I’m not trying to explain myself anymore.
What does it matter to you if I’m a little low?
I’ll still give you that smile
Because even though I’m drenched in this dark
Please understand I’m still just as bright.
I just can’t wear it all of the time
And it takes more out of me to share my joy
Then to show my scars.
You can’t harm what is already hurt
But this happy I have?
It’s fleeting and I know it too well
If I share it with you, it’s no longer mine.
It’s a dress we can all wear.
Sometimes my triumphs have to be mine alone.
Maybe it’s the fear that if I show you,
If I show you how bright I really shine,
It will be doused immediately
And will fade into just something that happened once.
I break myself so often but I know why.
It doesn’t really matter if you understand.
I guess I’m tired of denying certain parts of me.
For every break I feel, I heal differently.
And for every new heal,
I find room for more discovery.
I keep pieces of me laying around my head
To keep as patchwork when I need them
Because when I put them back together?
When I put me back together
What a beautiful creation I will be.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.