And just for thought...
I laid with him last night but my mind wandered.
Our bodies felt comfort in each other
but I was not enthralled by anything else.
I asked myself why was I there at that moment?
I will only run to a shower.
Is that what I had become?
Another pointless girl this man can satisfy himself with?
I once thought I could find myself again with a casual kiss
but it just gave me an achy back each time.
One man does not erase another
nor does he release me from the mistakes of men gone.
I go to this man now only because I sometimes don't want to lay alone.
I never feel anything but sheets as hard as I try for a connection.
He accuses me of many a lover but he doesn't matter.
I know I should at least find something to like about him
or just be done with him altogether.
I know I owe myself more than his quick release.
Aren't I worth someone's full pleasure?
I get side tracked too easily by these empty walls, I know.
I satisfied my skin with him last night
but my heart ached for someone more.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.