And just for thought...
I go in with my held high, shrugging off your apology as if it didn't matter.
I tell myself that you no longer have this power to effect me so,
that I can shut down the radar that always seems to know your exact proximity to me.
I smiled, laughed, and told you we were fine
but I knew we weren't, I knew you would never really care.
I can't help the way you make my stomach turn.
What does it matter anyway?
This infatuation I have with you was never going to amount to anything anyway.
If you've shown me anything, you've shown me that over and over again.
I am smart enough to know when to walk away even if I don't.
I sat at my desk, avoiding eye contact, while you continued to throw me your mixed signals.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.