And just for thought...
You all want me to bend to your wishes.
You set these expectations in front of me
as if I'm going to jump on the chance to prove something to you.
I refuse to be so easily manipulated.
I have come a long way from being that pathetic girl.
I am not so easily fooled.
You coo me to my face and damn me to my back
because I won't mimic your idiot ways.
I don't want to be like you.
I don't want to mold my child to be like you.
I want her to grow free without your silly expectations.
It is not fair to put us in her.
I refuse for her, for me.
If she wants to put spaghetti on her head, so be it.
If she wants to eat oatmeal with her hands, let her be.
If I want to allow her to learn on her own, in her own way, don't interfere.
How will she ever learn anything if I constantly do it for her?
How will she ever become who she is if I tell her?
She is a child, not a doll.
I will not box her spirit in just to avoid a little oatmeal in her hair.
I will not be the kind of mother the world thinks I should be.
I will be the mother she needs me to be,
a mother who loves her with spaghetti in her,
a mother that encourages self discovery in oatmeal grains.
Life is a mess no matter how tightly kept we try to keep it
and she will learn all of that in her own time.
Her spirit will remain free.
That's the kind of mother I am.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.