And just for thought...
To do right by everyone means sometimes forgetting about me
But there are places to be, people to see, things to get done.
Who else in this life can do them but me?
Sometimes when I get obsessed with the tediousness of the day,
I fail to see the beauty in what is all around me.
I get side tracked by laundry, the dishes clean still sitting in the rack on the sink,
Losing the sound of a little girl's laugh, a dog's glee that I am home.
I worry too much about what I don't have, taking for granted what I do.
I want to be the shining star, the one everyone wonders how does she do it
But when my bones become fatigued, I pay no attention.
I push on, holding the foundation I've built all on my shoulders.
Sometimes my resolve does not equal my strength and I fall onto my knees.
I ignore too much, letting minutes of my life pass without gratitude for them
But there are still dreams to chase, wishes to make true
And who in this life can prevail if not me?
Sometimes I get wrapped up in what everyone else needs.
I don't recognize what it is that I need
And I am blinded by the tricks material possessions play.
Somehow I turn a year older, once a year reflecting on what life has taught me
But one way or another the moments go on without me
And I am back to yelling at the things I never had a chance of controlling in the first place.
I have a life to live, words to write, pictures to paint
And who else in this world can do them quite like me?
Sometimes I become annoyed with the juice stain I have to get out of the carpet
Or the groceries I seem to always be out of,
Forgetting the joy of one little girl, one small pup, the beauty of one tired mother
But I've got one inspiring family to keep together
And I know they need no one else but me.
*Originally written July 7, 2005
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.