And just for thought...
Looking at you, I know beside you is where I belong
and yet I feel so out of place.
You gave me your name and a ring to seal our union
but I need more than vows said in a cold courtroom.
It's the kisses in the moonlight that I miss,
the feeling as if we were the only ones in the room.
Now, a passing glance on the way to the couch is what I get.
It is not enough for me.
You placed me on a pedastool until I walked down the aisle.
Then, forgot me once I was up there.
I find no comfort in our empty bed.
I am starving for some kind of love, for some sign of devotion.
You don't see it, instead only patronizing me when I try to speak.
Do you know how scared I was to love you in the first place?
To love you right now?
To allow myself to fall into a man enough to vow marriage?
There were no guarantees you wouldn't hurt me.
I guess in the back of my mind I always knew you would
but looking at the beautiful little girl we created, I had to at least try.
I know the truth now.
You won your prize only to leave me to gather dust.
Why did you fight so hard in the first place if I was just something to catch?
I tried to make you see that I wasn't worth your trouble.
I would never be what you were looking for.
Still, you insisted and you won, didn't you?
And, still, I am not what you wanted.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.