And just for thought...
The tears I keep safely tucked away, away from the ones who love me.
What would my tears do but leave stains on my cheeks?
They would look at me as if I was ungrateful for the blessings around me
but they will never know how I would burst open if I were to be any more thankful.
I find myself in a quiet corner, behind a shut door in an empty room,
crying for the womb that lies barren, for the life I so desperately want to grow inside.
He smiles at me, assuring me that he doesn't need that to make us whole,
knowing at the end of the day this pain is all my own.
I am surrounded by love, by laughter, by light, by a hope I thought I had lost
yet the emptiness sits heavy on my hips.
Every day that goes by my nagging prayer goes unanswered.
There are things, most things, too many things I will never ask for.
There are moments, so many moments, too many moments I will never know.
There are tears, too many tears, so many tears I've shed for the heartbeat I may never hear.
He strokes my cheek, whispers sweet nothings, tells me she's enough for us, I'm enough for him.
I know it pains him to think he's not enough, that she's not enough for me
but this, this has nothing to do with either of them.
They will always be enough, more than enough, more than I could explain.
I cry when he's not looking, mourn when no one is around.
What would these tears do but hurt the ones around me?
There are words, none of them right, to offer comfort.
These tears, so many tears, too many tears are mine, mine alone.
This want, this beautiful want, belongs only to me.
This womb, this empty womb, is for only me to bare.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who has been in love with writing her entire life. I am full of quirks, anxieties, fears, joys, laughter. And all I have wanted to do was give the world a smile.